Joke of the Day-10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't...

1. So...What'd you get in the sack?

2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

5. I got the best piece from that house.

6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....

8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!

Movie Quote of the Day-Alan Garner: Not at the table, Carlos! (The Hangover)

Sports Picks- Yankees, Sabres, Knicks over Sixers, Oregon over USC, Texas over Ok St,

Follow Me, CRUSH IT!, Connect

Crush It! Follow Me, Comment, Connect

Joke of the Day-Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

Movie Quote of the Day-Topher Grace: Fellas! Fellas! Check this... all... red!

[Lays down his hand, which is revealed as two diamonds and three hearts, as everyone at the table congratulates him on his "flush"] (Oceans Eleven)

Media Pick of the Day- Its Halloween all week-end.

Sports Picks- Sabres over Maple Leafs, Celtics over Bulls, Lakers over Mavs, South Florida over West Virginia,

Twitter: Why You Should Be On It

I was saving a blog about this for later but after the book I read last night I have to talk about this now. A lot of you who aren't on Twitter think people don't want to know that "I'm doing laundry", "watching The Hills", or "brushing my teeth." Maybe your right. However, if you fall under the category of looking for a job, plan to look for a job in the future, or have uncertainty whether you might look for a job in the future, you should be on Twitter. I'm no Twextpert (twitter-expert i'm following 90, 47 people follow me) but already I've seen the power of what Twitter can do. In the (very near) future all businesses will turn to social media as their primary platform of media. This is your chance to (almost) get ahead of the curve. If you join Twitter now you will be part of what marketers call "The Late Majority." Don't get any further behind then you already are. Sure, you go out today sign up for Twitter you're not sure what to do or how to use it or what to say. Just start with those simple status updates you post on your Facebook. Eventually the people you connect with will @reply you which is like a shout-out to you or a post on your wall. The reason you really should use Twitter is because you want to stand out (if you don't want to stand out you should). Everyone will send out resumes or use job search sites to get a job. Twitter can allow you to become noticed and differentiate yourself and that is the key to getting a job today. I'm willing to bet you ten years from now everyone will have to be on Twitter and it will be even harder to differentiate yourself than it is now. If you go to Twitter.com you may not like the way its set up. I only go if I'm trying to find a person I know I want to follow. Make it easy on yourself and download TweetDeck. It's a free program that allows you to see all the tweets of the people your following, all the tweets that mention you, as well as your Facebook newsfeed. Twitter will become a necessity for business/job applicants in the near future. Get your name out there now, there is no reason to wait. It may be hard starting out but I promise you this will be a tool that won't let you down. If you're having any trouble, questions, or aren't sure how to use it just ask me. And if you want your first follower, follow me I will follow you. DON'T WAIT, MAKE YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITIES.

Media Pick of the Day- CRUSH IT!: Why Now is the Time to Cash in on your Passion by Gary Vaynerchuk...This book was awesome, it made me 100% confident that starting this blog was the right thing to do. If I haven't convinced you on Twitter read this book. It may change your life! I have a copy if anyone wants to borrow it hit me up.

Joke of the Day-A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Movie Quote of the Day-Harold Lee: After all the shit we've been through, I don't... I don't know if we can trust our government anymore.

George W. Bush: Trust the government? Heck, I'm in the government and I don't even trust it. You don't have to believe in your government to be a good American. You just have to believe in your country. (Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay)

Sports Picks- Yankees over Phillies, Spurs over Bulls, Nuggets over Blazers, VTech over UNC

Follow me, Comment, Vote

GOOGLE: NEW TOOLS, FEATURES, BUSINESS

Many of you are probably familiar with classic Google products such as Google Web and Google Images. You probably also know of Google Earth, Maps, and Video. Google continues to produce new products all the time and has an assortment of tools that may be useful to you. First off, check out Google Profile. Google Profile is like any profile you might have for Facebook, Youtube, or Yahoo. Profile allows you to control what people see when they google your name. This tool can be extremely important if you are looking for a job, internship, or applying to/for a college or scholarship. Recruiters, employers, and admissions officers more than likely will google the names of its applicants. If your name is Dan White, for example, you might not want people to find that the first hit on Google is a Wikipedia entry about Daniel James White, the man who assassinated Harvey Milk. Though it's probably obvious that a criminal of that degree would probably not be on the streets again looking for a job, you still may have a negative association with your name. Differentiate yourself by using a middle initial, middle name, maiden name or nickname. Another cool new Google product is Google Voice. Google Voice is essentially a phone service on the Internet. You can call, text, and receive voicemail on your computer. Google Voice is currently invite-only but you can request an invite here. Other cool Google products to check out are Picasa, SketchUp and Orkut. Go to google and see what they have to offer, most products are free and easy to sign up for.



Joke of the Day- Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

Movie Quote of the Day- Columbus(Jesse Eisenberg) : [to Tallahasse(Woody Harrelson)] I swear, you're like some type of cock-blocking robot developed in some secret fucking government lab. (Zombieland)

Media Pick of the Day- WORLD SERIES PHILLIES@YANKEES 7:57 ON FOX. Also, check out Rihanna's new song "Russian Roulette" its kind of slow but its not that bad.

My Sports Picks: Sabres over Devils, Spurs over Hornets, Nuggets over Jazz, and YANKEES!

Check out the polls, Comment, Follow Me, Start a blog yourself!

Why Blog?

Most of you probably think blogging means writing a diary of your day/week/month and hoping people will read it. I'm not into knowing about some blogger's love life, fashion sense, or bad gas. My goals for this blog are to inspire people to do something different, stand out, or just do whatever they want. Hopefully if you read it you will interact with me or other readers through the interactive media included. If you only read the blog once I hope everyone to laugh at least once and maybe learn something too. Enjoy reading and please tell me what you think (comment, vote in the polls, follow me).

Joke of the Day:Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Movie Line Of the Day:Jerry Ferro (Adam Carolla)- You guys sure seem to love Nicaragua except for the part where you risked your lives not to live there any more. (The Hammer)

Media Pick of The Day (book, movie, sporting event, song)- Obviously its got to be start of the NBA season. I got Cleveland over Boston, Lakers over Clippers, Mavericks over Wizards, and Blazers over Rockets.

Vote in the Polls!